2020 has brought a widespread understanding that sexual pleasure is integral to well-being.
Quarantine, coinciding with a sex positive revolution and more brands shifting their wellness products to include sex toys, has led many to explore and celebrate self-pleasure as a form of self care without the stigma that once surrounded masturbation.
A June 2020 report by Japanese pleasure product brand TENGA tells us that 84 per cent of Americans now recognise masturbation as a form of self-care (compared to 54 per cent in 2016), showing how masturbation is now recognised and celebrated.
As part of masturbation, self-administered orgasms (or solo orgasms) are a key tool in improving self-empowerment.
Pleasure is one of the most loving and gratifying gifts you can give yourself and learning to experience this without relying on another person to provide it can be completely life-changing.
Solo orgasms even provide some physical and mental health benefits you may find surprising.
Reducing stress
Solo orgasms prompt our bodies to release the happiness hormones: dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin. This naturally causes a decrease in stress levels and helps us to feel relaxed and achieve a general sense of wellbeing and satisfaction.
Better Sleep Quality
Becaue of the relieved stress, along with the release of tension, producing your own orgasms while masturbating will help you to fall asleep quicker, with your mind a happy, settled place. Many people (myself included) have even re-registered a sleep cycle using solo orgasm.
Pain Relief (Minimal)
The endorphins released during orgasm will also have an important role in relieving some aches and pains – especially migraines and for those with vaginas, menstrual cramps.
Confidence Boosting
According to a study by Cornell University in New York, solo orgasms can result in a confidence boost, and having them often could even heighten your sense of self-worth and life satisfaction.
Though solo orgasms offer these healing properties and giving them to yourself creates an invaluable sense of self-empowerment and agency, it’s important not to make masturbation about the orgasm all the time.
We all deserve to maximise our pleasure and produce orgasms if we want to, but we shouldn’t expect them to happen every single time. Terminology around sex and orgasms like “finishing” has left a lot of us with the idea that orgasms are the be-all-or-end-all of sexual experiences.
Learning what your body enjoys and how pleasure is achieved for you takes patience, time, exploration and an open mind. It’s important to remember that sex (solo or partnered) is about pleasure, not hitting a certain goal.
Focus on what your body wants to experience and what you react positively to, not the pleasure you think you should be having. The best way to enjoy masturbation is to stop viewing orgasm as the finish line, and just enjoy the ride.
Ultimately, masturbation is a healthy and stress-reducing activity we should all be adding to our wellness routines, if and when we want to. Checking in with yourself and engaging in solo sex is a valid part of a person’s wellbeing and self-care rituals, like getting a good night’s sleep or eating food that satisfies you.
We should explore our bodies on our own terms and strengthen your personal health without relying on another person.
