I think we can all easily say that 2020 was a challenging year for everyone. We’ve all experienced the feelings of being overwhelmed, isolated, lonely and completely out of control of our lives.
At the moment, I know that I am struggling. I feel like we keep on getting thrown into different states of limbo and forced to find our footing before it gets ripped away again. It’s not a great feeling.
It’s no surprise that the consequences of these circumstances have left many of us with the need just to have someone to talk too. Someone to listen to us, our worries, thoughts, and be in a safe space without judgement. To just have a space to let our emotions out and say how we truly feel and have some acknowledgement to that and hear the words that it’s valid.
After all, acknowledging that our feelings and thoughts are valid is a basic human need and one which a lot of us aren’t able to receive right now. Or perhaps, you’re like me and worry that speaking will just burden someone else and that we’re just dumping on them. So instead you hold it all in, feel horrid about yourself and carry on even though the one thing you want is to be heard.
When I was seven years old, I was diagnosed with psoriasis, an autoimmune disease that affects your immune system and causes it to attack your joints and skin. The results can vary for person to person, but for me, it causes my skin to grow faster than it should so I’m covered in painful, itchy, red, flaky patches all over my body.
It’s not nice looking, but I’ve grown somewhat used to it over the years even if it often causes others to have a bad reaction when they first see me if I’m having a flare-up. However, I’ve recently found that it has become a struggle for me and has had a significant effect on my mental health and well being.
At the end of 2019, I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis which developed due to my psoriasis. It turns out that my skin condition as I used to think of it, wasn’t just a skin condition. My joints would swell up and cause me a lot of pain, which I thought was just from general exercise was actually arthritis.
I was meant to start seeing a rheumatologist when the pandemic hit, so that went right out the window. I had to figure out what methods worked for me in terms of pain management and dealing with psoriatic arthritis flare-ups as well as the skin ones. It’s a lonely experience, especially when due to the medication I am on I got the letter saying I had to shield.
It’s hard. When most of your friends are able-bodied and don’t have a chronic illness, it can be isolating to try and find someone to talk to who wants to listen instead of someone who just wants to put on a doctor’s hat in an effort to try and somehow ‘cure’ you.
So when I was given the opportunity to try our peer counselling, I have to admit that I leapt at the chance. I’ve always found therapy beneficial to my mental health but still found it challenging to find someone I trust and therapy I can afford.
Signing up to the Peer Collective was surprisingly easy and didn’t feel like I was jumping through hundreds of hoops in the hopes that I might get a counselling session. Instead, the whole process is straightforward; you answer a couple of questions about your preferences and needs before presenting with the counsellors available that fit your profile.
For me, this was the part I enjoyed as I’ve never been able to pick a counsellor before. When I was in CAMS, I was passed from therapist to therapist. At university, we got assigned to whoever was available—for me, being able to have some autonomy on who I got to speak helped me feel safe and comfortable.
You then get the option to pick either a phone call or a video call. I chose a video call because I know for me that even though I hate being on camera, I see the person I’m talking to. For me, it’s a way to connect with someone and feel like I am being heard.
I had three sessions with the Peer Collective and all with the same counsellor, Lark. I enjoyed my sessions and found a great sense of relief just to hear someone say that what I was feeling was valid that the fact I was struggling right now to deal with everything going on in the world and my own body too, that it was okay. Just to have someone to listen and talk too, it was a relief.
I would recommend anyone right now needing to talk to someone to try out the Peer Collective. From my own experience, I have found the perfect person for me to work with and will be continuing to use the service to look after my mental health and myself.
This content is sponsored by Peer Collective: You can use our code for one free session TB2020.
