Everyone falls victim to bad habits, it’s an inherent part of being human. But some habits can cause long lasting damage to your health.
There are the obvious habits that go without saying you’d be better off without: smoking too much, drinking too much alcohol, not drinking enough water, or eating enough greens. We’re all aware of this already.
The habits I’m talking about are the ones that sneak up on you without you even being aware.
But there also ones that can be changed – even if over time.
Blaming Others
Blaming others is the art of not accepting responsibility for your actions, and instead making it the result of other people or situations. This kind of projection is easy, if you’re not accountable for what’s happening to you, then you don’t need to work at rectifying it. Brene Brown says ‘accountability by definition is a vulnerable process’ and if you’re not accountable, then you don’t have to put yourselves in a position of being wrong.
But by blaming others and not taking responsibility, you’re missing out on growing and learning. You’re making yourself powerless. You’re losing control.
You don’t have to be right all the time. Instead of externalizing when bad things happen, try to look at the situation and decide what the best course of action is for you. It’s okay to admit when you’re wrong.
Self Sabotaging
We all have certain dreams and goals that we desire to achieve. And sometimes, the only thing standing in our way is ourselves! Procrastination, negative self-belief, self-abuse, overt self criticism. These are all behaviours that hold us back and prevent us from doing what we want to do. Even a small set-back or a low mood can lead us to abandon our dreams because we think ‘what the heck’ there’s no point now.
At first, you may not even notice you’re doing it. But when the negativity constantly undermines your efforts then they can become a form of self-harm. To stop self-sabotage, you first need to recognise it in your behaviour. Try to think about the goals you have had for a while but have never achieved. What’s putting you off? Do your friends or your manager always pick up on a particular frustration? Why?
As you become aware of your self-sabotaging behaviours you can start to realign your thinking, and challenge your thoughts. If you can delve into the emotions behind your behaviours, if you can notice and learn from positive outcomes, you can start to break the cycle of negativity.
Being Glued To Your Phone
Giving 100% of your time to someone else is detrimental to your mental health. By waking up and looking immediately at your phone, you are making someone else your priority. Not to mention having your phone to hand in bed can lead very quickly to doom-scrolling. Try focussing on yourself, especially first thing, and concentrate on what you have planned for your day, rather than what is going on in someone else’s.
You can do this by leaving your phone out of your bedroom. It may feel like you’re missing a limb to start with, but soon you’ll wonder how you ever coped with your phone at such close proximity.
Complaining A Lot
Let’s face it, we all complain. Even the happiest of people. Sometimes it feels like it’s even easier to do so than to try to fix a situation. But complaining can lead to a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings, which are draining. Try to retrain your mindset to be less judgemental – as complaints often come from a place of judgement. Sure, always air valid concerns, but more often than not, the real issue is because the complaint is pushing a button inside of us that needs to be addressed.
Next time you draw breath to moan, take a second to consider if your moan will matter in five minutes. Or if a change of perspective would work better.
Breaking Your Budget
As someone who has been thousands of pounds in debt, I know that money worries can be all too consuming. But even people who have more than enough to go around can overspend and break budgets.
We spend to make ourselves feel good. But the instant gratification is soon lost in the mountains of ‘things’ we didn’t really need. And the weight of the credit cards and the bills that soon accumulate.
One of the best ways to overcome the overspend is to budget. It’s how I clawed my way out of debt, and it is a tool I am still using almost ten years later in my personal and work life.
Calculate your incomings and outgoings over a period of time and work out how much you have left over. Then note down all expenditure. You’ll soon see patterns emerge; when you spend on takeaways, how much each coffee costs, it all adds up. Try to stop spending more than you earn and don’t ignore the bills.
I know, especially at the moment, that this isn’t always achievable. But if you’re in financial strife, don’t ignore it. Banks and credit card companies are there to help you. Speak to them, and ask for help before it’s too late.
The most important thing is to give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Certain habits are easier to overcome than others, and nobody can change over night (no matter how much we like might to think so).
If you find yourself falling into negative habits, just try your best, one step at a time. That’s all you can do.
