You may or may not have heard of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) before now. NPD is a personality disorder whereby a person may have an inflated view of themselves, and a personality that includes fluctuating emotion and a desire for power, prestige and praise.
Of course, as humans it is natural for us to feel a bit selfish now and again. But there is a difference between this ‘now and again’ behaviour, and being what people call a narcissist (self-absorbed), and having NPD — which is a mental illness.
Those on the outside looking in may find being in the company of somebody with NPD uncomfortable, and see them as conceited and ‘big-headed’. But the person with NPD is likely to be unhappy when not receiving the attention and praise that they feel they deserve.
If you suspect yourself of having NPD it is important that you schedule an appointment with your GP or a mental health professional.
They will be able to help you determine whether you have this particular personality disorder, and suggest suitable treatments to help manage symptoms.
You may be asked to fill out a questionnaire and may be tested for other mental health conditions at the same time.
Just some symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder may include:
Believing they are particularly special
If anything, the majority of us struggle with not feeling enough, rather than feeling the opposite — that we’re superior. You may have a need for an excessive amount of admiration and attention, feeling entitled and have unreasonable expectations of how well you should be treated.
Their way is the right way
Differences are what make us unique, and it’s only human to have opposing views on how things should be done. But you may find it impossible to even comprehend how people could disagree with you, or even how that thought could enter their head.
A desire to win and succeed, no matter what
Being ‘The Best’ and a winner is very important to you. You find it easy to push others out of the way in order to get what you want. This goes above just having your ideas and goals that you’d like to accomplish, and is more about having an innate need to get your own way in order to be happy.
Struggling to maintain healthy and happy relationships
Your high self-esteem is deep rooted. You are hypercompetitive and struggle to take criticism on board as you believe that your view is the one that should be considered above all others. You may not value others’ feelings or ideas, and thus ignore the needs of others – making it hard to maintain a relationship. Even those who understand your disorder may struggle to keep you happy, as often, no amount of praise is enough.
A constant craving for attention and praise
You may crave attention and admiration, and find it natural to accept constant compliments. Your self-esteem is likely to be fragile and easily wounded when admiration is not plentiful. When you’re not being admired, you wonder what could be more important and may show aggression when facing a threat to your ego.
Thinking about themselves continuously, and then talking about themselves
You find it easy to be the centre of attention and spark conversation about yourself, because you see yourself as an interesting topic that others will want to talk about too. When not thinking about yourself, you may fanticise about success, power, beauty, money and other topics usually associated with greed or vanity.
Having unpredictable mood swings that are wide and fast
While you’re happy when discussing yourself in a positive light or talking about your accomplishments, you will find any criticism or negativity hard to swallow and may bite back without warning. Your grandiose view of yourself may usually be off the charts, but it can also be very fragile, ironically. Feeling anything less than perfect is uncomfortable for you, and you’ll do all that you can to protect yourself.
While it will be challenging to treat NPD, you can indeed work through it and manage symptoms. You may find that seeing a trained therapist or psychologist can be helpful, and may help retrain the way that you view yourself and the world.
Although there is no single known cause, genetic and environmental factors are said to be likely causes.
Those living or in relationships with people who have NPD may be easily drawn in by their confidence, assertiveness and excitement. But, those traits can also become a hindrance when the impact of them, along with the lack of emotion and empathy for others, becomes more apparent.
You can’t expect a huge adjustment overnight, but if you have NPD and work with your medical professional to create a long-term treatment plan, studies have shown that you can eventually become capable of learning and feeling empathy.
