As a Muslim living in Pakistan, growing up, Christmas was never a celebration I was familiar with.
It’s not like I ever felt like I was missing out in particular, because as a community we tend to celebrate almost everything: babies, weddings, Eid, engagements – you name it, we would go all out for it, and then add some extra dinner parties and what not just because.
While I didn’t feel like I was missing out on the celebration aspect of it, what I didn’t understand often was the active disassociation with the idea of Christmas itself.
To some more conservative people around me, even saying the word Christmas itself is something to be frowned upon.
But having seen a fair amount of Christmas movies, all I associated the holiday with was celebration and joy.
When I moved to London for university, I found out it was a lot more.
Christmas was a whole season! From Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland, to the Christmas sales and the famous street light displays. Far from home and from the celebrations I was used to; all of these alternatives seemed great.
Now looking back at the Christmas season, particularly at a time when I’m so far away, and I know London is nowhere near the same as where I left it, what I remember is not the extravagant displays or the fancy lights, but the Christmas dinner my friends hosted especially for me because they wanted me to share in the celebration.
What made it that much more special was the fact that all of them were planning to go home for winter break and spend Christmas with their families, but just before we all left for home, we planned our own little dinner.
Both me and my flatmate were flying out to Pakistan before Christmas so our dinner was a week earlier.
I say ‘we’ planned quite loosely since I had no idea what a Christmas dinner really entailed so they really did most of the prep and I just showed up to see if I could help out in the kitchen at the end.
To the outward eye that dinner was perhaps nothing special but to me it meant the world. Despite me being the only person who ate halal meat, my friends went out of their way to find a halal turkey so that I didn’t have to worry about food.
They also made sure to get me non-alcoholic “wine” (sparkling grape juice) and while both of these things may not seem like much, it was really a show of how much they cared.
For them to invite me into their traditions and celebrations, and to go that extra mile, made that little dinner in the flat one of the best I’ve ever had. Dinner was the works — Turkey, bread sauce, cranberry sauce and even mince pies.
I think for me, that day become one of those milestones in our friendships; the kind you remember long after it’s over.
It was also a reminder that no matter where you are in the world, the joy of celebration and of sharing those moments with the ones most important to you stays the same.
We spent the dinner trying new things – atleast I did as my friends waited in anticipation to see what I thought, pulling Christmas crackers and just feeling at home.
It’s true that your friends become your chosen family. Mine certainly have.
And while I am eternally grateful for technology bringing us closer together, as I worry about my loved ones across the world, each fighting their own battles, I am holding on to my first Christmas as a memory that will tide me over till we can come together for whatever next celebration life may bring our way.
I actually had a small friendsgiving celebration at home this year, and I must have told everyone on the table about the day I had my first turkey and the small Christmas dinner that will now become my measure of what Christmas means to me for the rest of my life.
I’m halfway across the world from my friends now, and holiday season means something different this year, no matter where you are.
So to everyone in the UK who is scared, confused and feeling a little bit lonely: I may never understand what it feels like to be in your situation, but I do know just how important it is to be with your loved ones during this time.
From me to you, make sure you love yourself a little extra this Christmas, and don’t let anyone tell you how to do so.
