I used to make lists of resolutions on New Year’s Eve. I would vow to make myself into a better version over the coming twelve months.
But, like 80% of the population making resolutions, by the end of January I’d be scoffing the chocolate, downing the whisky, and hadn’t set foot in the gym since I signed up for the really expensive tarif that included classes and swimming.
So if you’re already wavering with the limitations you have placed on yourself because a new year beginning always feels like a new start, fear not! You are not alone.
Resolutions always feel like a great way to welcome in a new year. It’s a blank slate to do with what we will. A time for new starts and lifestyle overhauls that we believe will make us happier, richer, thinner, better, (insert your own appropriate adjective) people. But wishes and righteousness alone don’t make for achievable goals and therein lies the problem.
The Resident magazine found that the resolutions with the fastest quitting rates were as follows: quit smoking, quit drinking, donate more to charity. Along with losing weight, these resolutions can highlight where we go wrong in our quest for what we believe to be betterment. They’re huge hurdles to overcome overnight.
It’s not that I’m against New Year’s resolutions. I think goal setting is a great way to achieve. And as an Occupational Therapist a lot of my work is based around goal setting. But the difference lies in the types of goals we set ourselves, and resolutions are more often than not, not achievable.
A goal, in order to be achievable, has to be specific, realistic, and measured. There’s no point trying to overhaul every little thing that you’re not keen on all in one go. They’re also achievable because they’re timely. The pressure we heap on ourselves because a new year is a new beginning needs to change. And we can do this by realigning our mindset and therefore realigning our goals. So here are a few tips if you want to stick with the resolutions you have set yourself.
If you’ve found yourself reaching for a cigarette after saying I’m going to quit smoking as of January 1st and throwing your cigarettes away, try breaking your goal down into smaller chunks. If you’re finding the cravings too hard, you could cut down to a certain number a day, or seek guidance from a professional to help you quit. They’re both alternative ways to get to your end goal. And if you’ve already caved, don’t think of it as a failure, instead try to look at it as a way to reimagine how you’re going to get there.
This breaking down of goals into smaller, more manageable chunks, works for nearly all resolutions we set ourselves. By allowing ourselves the footsteps rather than the giant leaps, we are giving ourselves more of a chance to stick with them. If you’ve slipped along the way, and we all have at some point or another, then give yourself a second to adjust to the New Year before you throw it all in.
And if you don’t want to stick with your resolutions then the best thing to do is let that happen. Let it go. Don’t waste time on feeling guilty. Try not to get into that cycle of negative thoughts; you’re not the sum of just your self-perceived mistakes. And feeling negative about yourself because you’ve not kept up with (probably) wildly unrealistic goals is not fair and not helpful. Instead, try to be present in the here and now and not focussing on where you want to be. Sometimes being aligned with the present can open up our potential and make us more receptive to change, because the pressure is not constantly tapping us on the shoulder and asking why we’re still not achieving.
Try again later when there’s not so much pressure piled on. January is a difficult, long, cold, financially draining month anyway, without the added pressure of resolutions to keep. Wait until the universe is giving you the right conditions to make those changes, and you are ready to make them.
Or, and here’s the real crux of the matter, don’t try again later, because you are perfect just the way you are.
