“I’m doing really good” I proclaimed to loved ones, a mere 72 hours after suffering what can only be described as the most traumatic panic attack of my life. In reality, I hadn’t showered in days, my hair was knotty and I was extremely dehydrated. The thought of physically doing anything other than staring at four walls seemed impossible.
Sadly, this wasn’t the first time I’d been in this situation. I was diagnosed in 2014 with anxiety, depression and a panic disorder. I’m sure those who can relate can attest to just how increasingly difficult it is to find the strength to do tasks that others may deem “basic”. Throw a pandemic and national lockdown into the mix you may be left feeling worse.
However, one thing that has been a big savour through it all has been my new-found skincare routine. My routine came about mid-April last year, a few weeks after my panic attack. That time still feels like quite a blur but I’m certain I was inspired by the incredible users of TikTok who often share their mental health struggles and are always on hand to offer support and guidance for coping, like the true angels they are.
From the beginning, I knew there was no personal pressure to do my routine every AM and PM, but to my surprise, I really gave it my best shot. I searched for hours on TikTok, and YouTube for skincare recommendations and the likes of Mario Badescu and CeraVe were always at the forefront. It took me weeks to finally decide on the products that would make the cut and I really found this time to be therapeutic. I’d be up all night unable to sleep due to my fear of another panic attack. My past self would frantically pace up and down my flat in tears, trying to tire myself out until the early morning but distracting myself with product reviews and routines began to pave the way. I began to swap carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders to wondering which products would give me a glow from within.
My AM routine usually begins with me taking my antidepressant for the day, grabbing a flannel and cleanser with my go-to pretty much always being CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser. I’ll pop on one of my feel-good Spotify playlists whilst brushing my teeth and then jump into a warm shower. I lather myself with a Maui Moisture Body Wash and try to wash any worries out of sight. The time I spend is so important to me because it truly reminds me of how far I’ve come. Just waking up each day is an achievement in itself but the fact I’ve also managed to find a routine that no longer feels daunting will always put a smile on my face.
I like to keep the routine simple after this point, enough so that I feel refreshed and have time to soak in each and every step but never too complicated in fear I’ll be overwhelmed. I’ll begin with the PYUNKANG YUL Essence Toner to start me off with an intense hydration that my skin can never seem to get enough of, followed by a vitamin C serum with my favourites being the Murad Vita-C Glycolic Brightening Serum on the days where I want to feel boujie and the Superdrug Vitamin C Facial Booster Serum on days where I want a trustworthy product that I can always rely on. I then follow up with a moisturiser and a sunscreen with an SPF.
My PM routine follows somewhat similarly but can be a bit of a struggle if I’ve had an especially tough day. If I’m feeling particularly anxious and know that I won’t be able to make it past the first few steps without realistically crying it all away, I simplify it. Sometimes it’ll be a simple water job with my Face Halo Make Up Remover Pad to instantly remove any makeup or impurities, my CeraVe cleanser from the AM and then the first moisturiser that catches my eye.
Ultimately, I’ve found that incorporating something that I look forward to which is my skincare routine has helped me to find a reason to get out of bed. For me, I’ve always had a strong interest in beauty and for different people, it will be different things. It’s just about finding what works best for you, without any adding any pressure. This is my ode to my skincare routine.
