When the air gets chillier and shops start filling their shelves with Santa paraphernalia, not only does Christmas draw closer, but so does loneliness and anxieties for many.
Since the government announcement that many areas across the UK will be placed in tighter restrictions due to the coronavirus pandemic, many people are faced with having to spend Christmas alone.
For some, this will be something that has happened several times before. For many others, this will be a completely new experience, and the prospect of spending the festive period without family and friends can be daunting and painful.
Sadness can be heightened at this time of year, on top of the pandemic, for other reasons. Such as the loss of a loved one, seasonal affective disorder (SAD), lack of finances, amongst other things. So the new lockdown rules can come as an especially harsh blow to many, who were looking forward to this treasured time with others.
Breaking things down, there are several ways you can try and make things easier for yourself this Christmas.
Firstly, by reminding yourself that this is out of your control and you have done nothing to cause this loneliness that you are feeling.
Secondly, you can look forward to next year by creating new plans and traditions, and reminisce on Christmases past. But perhaps the most important of all, you can look for ways to keep yourself happy over the holidays, and come up with things to do on Christmas Day itself.
Indulge In What You Love
For months we’ve seen turkeys and sprouts blasted all over the telly or on billboards, but for many of us, this isn’t our top tier meal (no pun intended) So if you’re celebrating Christmas alone then do it with your favourite meal.
If you want to buy an expensive block of cheddar and melt over half of it onto a sourdough bloomer – do it. If you want to wake up and eat 4 selection boxes – do it. Eat exactly what you would if nobody was watching.
Make sure that you’re Christmas lunch is what you want it to be, and nothing less. You don’t need to cook a roast with all the trimmings – call up your favourite takeaway if that’s what you’d prefer. Nobody is judging.
When it comes to a beverage, treat yourself to endless hot chocolates (with cream and marshmallows, of course) or even an expensive bottle of champers. Just do it sensibly, and if alcohol has a negative effect on you, do it with caution and extra tissues.
Treat Yourself
We all know how happy a little gift can make us, and it doesn’t have to be anything costly. The money you would’ve spent on a train ticket or fuel to get home this Christmas can be spent on yourself instead.
Buy yourself something you’ve been dreaming of, big or small. And make sure to wrap it up – yes, really. Place it under your tree if you have one, and don’t open it until Christmas morning.
Or, open your gifts with a loved one over a video call. Whether they’re gifts you’ve bought for yourself or ones you have been sent, doing the unwrapping this way is a lovely way to stay connected, keep a bit of tradition and then return to your day of self-indulgence.
Relax To The Max
We’re talking a hot bubble bath with your favourite bath oil, candles, face masks and cranking the heating right up. Turn your home into a serene like spa and put your feet up if that’s what makes you happy.
Make yourself a priority and switch off from the outside world, everything can wait until tomorrow.
Get Comfy
Christmas is generally supposed to be about being relaxed and taking time out, but it very rarely happens that way. There’s always a mad rush to get up and open gifts, cook the dinner without making a mess and make yourself look pristine even though all you really want to do is sleep.
If you’re without company this Christmas, you won’t upset your aunt or great-grandfather if you’re without your lippy and lounging in a onesie instead. So keep yourself snug and cosy, and if that means not getting dressed, then you do just that.
Alternatively, if you’d feel better in that new sequin ball gown that you’ve been eyeing up for months and a lick of red lipstick, that’s more than fine too.
Know It’s Okay To Feel Your Feelings
You may be really upset about your cancelled plans, but that’s okay. Feel no guilt or shame in being angry or emotional, we’re living in extraordinary circumstances right now and have to acknowledge our feelings, knowing that this emotion is valid and likely shared with thousands of others around us.
Even those who manage to spend Christmastime with others can feel blue. Loneliness doesn’t only affect those of us that are physically alone – you can be surrounded by others and still feel all alone inside.
Plan to call a few people who make you happy, and you want to share a conversation with. Talk about how you ate a whole box of Ferrero Rocher or discuss your excitement for the Call the Midwife Christmas special and how you’ll be getting into bed as soon as it’s finished. Don’t feel guilty if you would rather avoid those who bring you down, and if it helps to chat to those in a similar position to yourself, do that.
Just do what makes you happy. Whether it’s a morning run, a foggy dog walk in the rain or playing video games all day. If you aren’t faced with the pressures of making others happy and conforming to a tight schedule, then focus on what makes you happy.
Heighten your senses and light a beautifully scented candle, enjoy decadent food with beautiful flavour and put something soft on.
Social media may feel overwhelming in the few days before Christmas and after, too. Limit your use of scrolling and focus simply on what makes you feel special and happy. Whether any of the above is helpful or not, try and make a plan (even if that plan includes a scheduled cry or nap) just so that you don’t feel lost when you wake, and have some structure.
But remember that this is just another 24 hour day of the year, and it will soon be over. If you want to forget about the day altogether, that’s okay too. It may be easier for some not to mark it at all, and we have to respect that.
