Mental illnesses of any kind can be truly debilitating to any aspect of your life, including your work. If you’re finding that your mental health is limiting how well you can do your job or you just need some time off to recuperate, talking to your boss is the first step towards getting the help you need.
We know that initiating these types of conversations can be nerve-wracking, especially if you’re already struggling. To help you organise and structure discussions about mental health with your boss, we’ve put together some tips to help you find a solution that works for you.
Think Of It Like A Physical Health Problem
If you had broken your leg and couldn’t walk to work, you’d ask for some time off, right? Asking for adjustments to be made to accommodate mental illness is just the same. Start the conversation by explaining how your mental health is affecting your ability to do your job. For example, if you’re suffering from anxiety that makes it difficult to join in on group meetings, give an example of a time where this has been difficult and explain how your mental health affected completing that task.
Being able to identify specific areas of your work that are difficult right now helps to offer concrete aspects that your employer needs to be aware of. It also makes it easier for them to understand your needs and is useful for thinking of an effective solution together.
Plan What You Want To Say Ahead Of Time
Once you’re in the meeting, you might feel anxious or stressed from talking about your mental health openly and that’s completely normal. To make sure that you discuss everything you want to, make a plan in advance. Think of the key points you want to cover and write them down to take in with you. That way, if you lose your train of thought in the moment, you have something to fall back on.
Try to come up with some concrete suggestions about what you need from your boss. This could be some time off, reduced hours, or adjustments made in your workplace to better accommodate your mental health. Whatever it is, having a suggestion ready to go will help them understand how they can best help you. After all, it’s your health, so you should be able to have your say on what would help you the most.
Find A Time That Works For Both Of You
Set aside a block of time where both of you can focus fully on the topic at hand. If you have a shared calendar, invite them to a meeting so they understand that this conversation is important to you. The last thing you want is to have a conversation about a personal topic when your boss’ mind is on something else or they’re rushing off to another meeting. Try to avoid meetings just before lunch; their mind might well be more on what they’re planning to eat than what you’re actually saying!
Consider what time works best for you as well. If you’re someone who gets anxious in anticipation of such conversations, try to schedule your meeting early in the day so you don’t have a long time to let the nerves build up. On the other hand, if you’re not a morning person and need some time to prepare, think of having an afternoon chat.
Consider Having A Mediator Present
If it makes you feel more comfortable, you could also request to have a mediator present. A mediator would often come from HR, but could also be any other employee who you trust or even your therapist or a workplace counsellor. They can act as a spokesperson for your needs, helping you to explain clearly what you’re going through and what you need from your boss.
Bringing in a mediator can be especially useful if you’re concerned that your boss might not be understanding about your struggles with mental health. This conversation will naturally be very personal for you, so having someone else there with an objective perspective can often help discussions progress more productively.
Know Your Rights As An Employee
Check the internal policy of your company to see if they already have provisions in place to help employees with their mental health. Knowing what your company owes you in the way of support can help direct what you ask from them. If you’re not sure where to find this information out, ask a member of the HR or management team for help.
Even if your company doesn’t have specific measures in place already, you’ll likely be protected by workplace laws in your area. If you’re in the UK, for example, you’re protected by the Equality Act of 2010, which protects anyone with a disability from discrimination in the workplace. Amongst other things, this law gives you the right to make your employer make reasonable adjustments in your workplace.
Protect Your Privacy
Just as with any health matter, your privacy is still your own. Don’t feel like you need to share any information that you don’t want to. Your mental health can remain as private a matter as you want it to. Instead of feeling like you need to dive into specifics, you can focus purely on how it’s affecting your work and what adjustments you need. Divulging personal or medical information is absolutely not a requirement.
Try Not To Presume What Your Boss Will Say
Although you might be nervous about speaking to your boss about this topic, remember that they also might be more receptive than you think. They are human too and might have experienced something similar to you at some point.
Try to go into the conversation with optimism and you might well be surprised by how helpful and understanding your boss can be.
