It’s almost 4am and I’m wide awake because my mind is racing and I can’t seem to drift off to sleep. I’m sure you know the feeling.
Recently, I’ve realised that I’ve been working myself too hard, and I’m worried it’s going to lead to burnout. I’ve been putting so much pressure on myself to get things done, without realising that it’s okay to take a day to just relax and enjoy my family.
But the thing is, when I’m not working myself too hard, I’m feeling like a failure. Panicking about all the things I need to do the following day, and feeling like I messed up if it’s not done immediately.
I think it’s really easy to overwork yourself without realising that that’s what you’re doing. You feel this need to prove to yourself that you are worthy and valid. Even though you already are without pushing yourself to the limit.
What I’m slowly learning is that it’s okay to set yourself personal boundaries, without blaming yourself and attacking your strengths. It’s okay to take a day to yourself, to practise self-care and to just look after yourself. It’s okay to not do everything at once.
I recently wrote a tweet about feeling like I’m trying my best but it not being enough, and it seemed to resonate with a lot of people. And it made me realise I am not alone in these feelings. That so many of us are pushing ourselves beyond our limits because of imposter syndrome; and worsening our mental health in the process.
But I think it’s time we put some boundaries in place and realised that not doing everything doesn’t make us failures.
One comment I received was how even though they felt similar in feeling like what they’re doing isn’t enough, they’re not actually trying their best. It made me wonder what our ‘best’ is. And then it made me realise that just trying to get through the day is our best. Waking up and opening the curtains is our best. Doing the dishes is our best. We need to stop equating working or over-achieving as doing our ‘best’.
And so, as I sit here in the same pyjamas I’ve been in for three days, I want you to know that what you’re doing is enough — even if you don’t think it is. You are doing what you need to get by.
And that can be staying in bed all day and binge watching Netflix, because that’s what you need to do at that moment.
It’s also just getting out of the house and going for a walk, or calling a friend.
Whatever you are doing to look after yourself is valid.
Please stop comparing yourself to everyone around you. Please stop overly pushing yourself because you feel like that’s what makes you valid. Please just rest and take it easy and look after yourself. All you are doing by forcing yourself to burnout is hurting yourself in the process.
Know that you’ve got this — and you deserve to have personal boundaries, to look after yourself, and to see the best in yourself beyond your to-do list.
