As anyone who has ever dated someone will probably agree, romantic relationships aren’t always plain sailing. From little tiffs over who gets to choose the next Netflix binge to blazing rows over who isn’t pulling their weight around the house, lover’s spats can cause quite the headache.
But if your tumultuous romantic life causes more than a little heartache, it could also be impacting your physical health. From feeling tired despite hitting the hay in good time to craving junk food, there are a number of indicators that your relationship might be messing with your health.
Here, relationship coach John Kenny identifies five of the most common.
Digestive Problems
Have you been eating your feelings more frequently than usual? Before you open the second tub of ice cream this evening, John suggests considering whether you’re really hungry, or if your body is simply refuelling after going into ‘fight or flight’ mode.
“Being in constant stress affects the way your stomach can operate,” he says. “You may eat more ‘comfort food’ or starve yourself to manage your emotions.”
Hormonal Imbalance
If your hormones have felt a little bit out of whack recently and you can’t put it down to a logical cause, like hormone therapy, contraception or pregnancy, it could be down to emotional stress. Symptoms of a hormonal imbalance include unexplained weight loss, acne and muscle aches. John reckons unhealthy relationships could be the cause of these ailments. He says: “Being in a state of up and down all of the time leads to different hormones being released into your system. This can lead to long term imbalances and damage cells.”
Feeling Drained
Ever come away from arguing with a loved one feeling totally zapped? Fighting with people we care about – whether that’s a colleague, sibling or a partner – makes many people feel physically exhausted. John suggests keeping an eye on your energy levels – if they’ve plummeted, a bad relationship could be the cause. “All of this emotional turmoil saps your energy and the longer it goes on the harder it is to get yourself back up again and re-energised,” he says.
Autoimmune Disease
Here’s the really scary part: if the above health problems remain unchecked for some times, you could be at risk of developing autoimmune disease, where your body’s immune system starts to attack itself by mistake. Common conditions include rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis and lupus. John says: “Those hormones can end up ‘poisoning’ you and lead to inflammation, skin conditions and as mentioned stomach conditions amongst other things.”
Trouble with Memory
Losing things, forgetting little details and muddling up dates and times can be scary, but trouble with memory doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve got a life-altering disease. Rather, it could be because your poor brain is so preoccupied worrying about your relationship. “You can be so consumed with your relationship that your brain just has no space to think about anything else,” John explains.
If any of the above issues get worse when you’re around your significant other, your relationship might be having a detrimental effect on your health – both mental and physical.
Think your relationship could be the culprit of your health woes? John says it’s time to talk through issues with your partner and figure out how to put yourself first.
“Work on your relational patterns,” he says. “Because if you are experiencing these issues, you are likely to have been in these situations for a while. It is time to do you and not be consumed by someone else.”