Friendship can be such a beautiful experience; someone that was once a stranger can provide you with comfort, love, laughter and joy. But equally, friendship is hard! There seems to be so much pressure to make friends and have amazing connections. I know I’ve always felt it.
The thing is, we’re all so unique and getting to know people can be draining. Plus, not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. As you get older, you notice it more. But that doesn’t make it any easier. The reality is losing friends can actually be good for you, even if it doesn’t feel great in the moment.
Over the years I’ve lost so many friends. At times it has been quite natural – after all, people grow apart. But there have been numerous instances that it felt awful.
I tried to fix things and hold on. I questioned what I did wrong. I tried to fix things. I know I’m not alone in holding on to friendships I probably shouldn’t have.
But with time I’m learning that losing friends is completely normal and it isn’t your fault.
It is important to remember that you are not the same person you were 10 years ago and nor are your friends.
Naturally, you’re going to grow apart and that it is okay. Holding on to people limits the time you have for new friendships.
Letting go of old friends can open the door to new ventures, to connecting with likeminded people and help you develop as a person.
Having the same friends can really limit your growth. Sometimes (as uncomfortable as it feels) you need to let go of toxic friends.
We all have ‘friends’ that we know are probably not good for us. You’re always going that extra mile but you never get the same treatment in return.
You tend to feel drained as you leave them. Or maybe, they just have an issue with everything you do or blame you for there issues.
But somehow, you’ve kept them in your life. Letting go of them makes room for new people that motivate you and help you thrive and navigate your way through life.
While some friendships can be long lasting and healthy, other friendships are a lesson (for all parties).
I’ve learnt not to try so hard and I’ve also learnt what I did well in friendships and what I didn’t.
Equally I’ve learnt you don’t have to vibe with everyone and people come and go and that is okay.
Just imagine you only knew the same two friends you grew up with and never met new people. As uncomfortable as it all feels, learning to accept the situation is key. Staying friends with people doesn’t prove anything.
As you get older, your priorities are inevitably going to shift. You don’t have as much time in the day to socialise. You don’t want to do the same things you once did and nor do your friends and that is okay.
Friends shouldn’t make you feel bad about growth.
I’d much rather call a friend that understands my situation in life and doesn’t put any unnecessary pressure on me, rather than have a friend that is upset that I no longer call them everyday as I did in high school.
Quality over quantity when it comes to friends is everything. You are not a bad person for prioritising your needs. It is so important that you do. Stop compromising your needs in order to hold on to people that aren’t worth holding on to.
In the moment, losing friends can feel so frustrating but with time you’ll feel less alone.
You’ll make new friends and have lots of incredible moments ahead.
Though losing friends can really hurt, it’s important to remember that you are enough and you need to stop feeling bad for something that is unavoidable.
Focus on all that is good in your life and nurture the relationships you have. It is okay to miss people and feel the loss but know that often it is for the best.
You deserve people that make you feel good and you will find friends that do.
