In the face of a painfully strained NHS, people are increasingly turning to self-diagnosis. After asking for professional help for over a decade but never getting closer to the root of my own mental health problems, I had little choice but to delve into this controversial practice.
Self-diagnosis is certainly not ideal for mental health. It can help sufferers find support but is also potentially dangerous. I initially found it overwhelming and confusing; there were so many disorders I associated with that I could have diagnosed myself with several. Having no medical training, diagnosing myself incorrectly seemed likely, leaving a serious illness untreated.
Yet with mood disorders such as bipolar disorder often being misdiagnosed by GPs themselves, trying to research these conditions ourselves can be the only option.
When I first asked for professional help, mental health information wasn’t easily accessible. Gaining understanding of the complexity of my issues felt impossible. With no idea which symptoms to highlight to my doctor, I had no choice but to trust they would know what to ask.
Instead, the appointment was extremely discouraging. The GP seemed disinterested and after asking a few generic questions, I was simply prescribed antidepressants and sent away.
Despite suspecting that my problems went further than depression, I had no choice but to accept what the GP suggested.
Some years later I spoke to a different GP, who listened carefully and asked thorough questions. They expressed the belief that I had bipolar disorder and explained that they would talk to a consultant before taking any steps. They promised to be in touch within 48 hours and I left feeling validated. I rang the surgery 3 days later, and the receptionist told me the GP was away but would not forget my case. Nobody ever got back to me.
Losing confidence in professional help, I tried to cope alone. It didn’t work well. Time and time again I tore my life apart by getting into surreal situations before crashing into depression and asking for help again. Having been diagnosed with anxiety and depression in the past resulted in most GPs assuming that was the only problem and prescribing antidepressants again, without looking further.
I continued to speak to various GPs about a possible mood disorder, highlighting areas of my life I felt showed a deeper problem. I had one tell me they ‘weren’t interested in my life story’, another said my problems sounded hormonal, and yet another suggested I was probably autistic but that there was little point in seeking diagnosis. Repeated dismissals discouraged me from believing that going back to the GP would help.
Feeling failed by mental health services, I discovered online communities and blogs that offered an insight into people’s lives with mental health struggles.
For the first time, I felt truly supported by communities that welcomed and guided me. Mental health advocates offered advice, information and direction in clear cut but friendly ways. They took time to listen to my obscure symptoms and life experiences before pointing me in the direction of officially diagnosed people, who I could strongly relate to.
I no longer felt ignored about my issues, both past and present. People listened, empathised, and shared their own stories. My self-diagnosis allowed me to be part of a group that shared very similar experiences.
Recently I plummeted into a deeper depression than I’d experienced before. I reached out to these online communities for advice. As well as instant support, people told me exactly what to explain to the GP and where I needed to request to be referred to for assessment.
My GP advised that I shouldn’t bother being referred to the mental health centre; waiting for an assessment would likely be close to a year, and appointments were continuously cancelled due to the service being under pressure. I explained my history of trauma, self-harm, mood swings, depression, wild behaviour, and disassociation, yet they still suggested I didn’t seek further evaluation. Not long ago I would have backed down. However, the prior advice from the communities gave me the confidence to insist for a referral.
I received a letter within a week for my initial assessment, scheduled just three weeks later. Why did my doctor try so hard to convince me that it would be useless? Was this due to GPs not being properly informed about mental health guidelines, or was it trying to ease the stressed, underfunded service?
I am finally on the path for a professional diagnosis but it has taken 12 years.
..Without self-diagnosis and the support of online mental health communities, I don’t know how I could have coped or ever got an appointment for a proper assessment.
Self-diagnosis and supportive communities helped me understand myself and provided guidance on navigating the complex professional services. Without it, people with mental health issues can be left in limbo for years, with no support or information. In my opinion, although self-diagnosis can be invaluable when waiting for a professional diagnosis, it is not a replacement for one.